An unbelievable story doing the rounds today is the one about the newspaper advert from an English translation company who want to hire, wait for it… “interpreters for Glaswegian“.

In what must be the cultural faux pas of the year, the position will cater for (presumably) foreign “visitors whose business English isn’t up to managing the local dialect”. The company’s website says “History shows us several other examples where people have struggled” in response to the ensuing media storm, which is even backed-up by the (Lithuanian) owner’s personal experiences…dontcha know!

I’m beginning to wondering if I’ve missed a whole new market for interpreting. I mean, we’re in a recession. How could I have been so naive?

"Och no!" Glaswegian: Not a language...

Anyway, to find out if the talk of Glaswegians indeed does need interpreting, I asked Anna Simpkins, ALS Marketing Director – and native Glaswegian – her thoughts:
“It is fair to say that there are a number of coloquialisms that have become part of everyday language in Glasgow.

However, to say that interpreters are in demand for those individuals for whom English is not their first language, seems a little far-fetched.”

Without needing to state the obvious, Anna points to other dialects where indigenous words do exist, adding:  “There are some words that are indigenous to Glasgow which may need to be explained along the way, but the same could be said for words such as “mither” in Lancashire or “laike” in Yorkshire – and they generally don’t cause too much confusion in context.

“In my experience, as with everywhere else in the UK, people adjust their vocabulary and tone for who they are addressing. In fact, rather than slang being the major barrier to communication with Glaswegians, it tends to be our rapid speed of delivery that causes most problems – even with other Scots!”

Ironically (well, if you believe the Glaswegian accent needs dedicated interpretation), it is the Scottish town of Inverness (which is 174 miles north of Glasgow) where the “clearest” Queen’s English is spoken in the UK.

Meanwhile, and more worryingly, it seems the industry completely missed the “Cockney Rhyming Slang” interpretation boat a long time ago…